Two monkeys were in a bath, one monkey went Ooh ooh aa aa,
and the other one said, 'well put some cold water in then!'
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because it was dead!
Mujibar was trying to get into Britain legally through Immigration.
The Officer said, "Mujibar, you have passed all the tests, except one.
Unless you pass it you cannot enter Britain."
Mujibar said, "I am ready."
The officer said, "Make a sentence using the words Yellow, Pink and Green."
Mujibar thought for a few minutes and said, "OK, Miester Officer, I am ready."
The Officer said, "Go ahead."
Mujibar said, "The telephone goes green, green,..... green, green, and I pink it up,and
say, 'Yellow, this is Mujibar.'"
Mujibar now works at a call centre near you!
what is the difference between a soldier and a fireman?
you cant dip a fireman in your boiled egg!!
With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment,
it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person which
almost went unnoticed last week. Larry La Prise, the man who wrote
"The Hokey Kokey", died peacefully at age 93. The most traumatic part
for his family was getting him into the coffin.
They put his left leg in, and then the trouble started!
Two oranges are sitting at a bar and one say's to the other 'you're round'!
(Some children may not get this joke, if not - ask a grown-up!)
A baby balloon wakes up in the night
after a bad dream and tries to get into bed with his Mum and Dad - they tell him
there's not enough room in their bed and he should go back to his own bed now
he's nearly 10 years old.
He waits for them to drop back off to sleep, then sneaks into their bed and
tries to squeeze in. It's no good, so he unties his Dad's string and lets a bit
of air out. Then he lets a bit of air out of his Mum and does the same to
himself.
In the morning his deflated Dad turns to his boy and says "you have been very
disobedient!!"...............
wait for it.............
"You've let me down, let your mother down and worst of all, you've let yourself
down" !!